Family and God's Glory

Last night at the student service I spoke on the 5th Commandment and highlighted its importance. It is, as Paul notes, the first commandment with a promise attached. "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you" (Exodus 20:12). My first point to show, in general, why honoring of parents is critical to society for it to function. This, I said, should be self-evident even to those who are not believer's.

The second and third points revovled around the idea that parent-child relationships mirror God's love for us and even serve as a parable for God's love relationship within Himself. That is, we are told by Jesus to call God "Father" as we pray, and Jesus is called God's beloved "Son." When God expresses His affection toward us and His Son, He most often employs the language of family.

This lesson reminded me of the horrors of divorce and the chaos we may reap as a society due to the breakdown of the family. It further drove home the challenge of communicating God's love and relationship to a generation that has never known a father or mother in a healthy relationship. Unless God does a great work, the problem will only get worse.

Francis Schaeffer was told a parable involving parking lot stripes. He said that the reason we can park without chaos is because we have a striped parking lot so we know where to put our cars. He likened a rebellious generation as a generation who removes the stripes. They, despite their rebellion, are still able to park with some semblance of order because they still have a memory of the order the stripes brought. However, the next generation will devolve into chaos piled up at the front door of the supermarket because they have never seen parking lot stripes and have no idea how to maintain order. The divorce of the last generation was terrible, but at least the parents knew how a marriage was supposed to look and how parents should relate to their children. The next generation has no such luxury.

So I am grieved this morning that words like "father", especially father, are nearly a semantic blank for many of our country's youth. Instead of instilling feelings of peace, love, protection, and safety, "father" brings up memories of abandon, anger, and neglect. How very sad for such children, and what a stumbling block to faith that is. This is yet another way in which the image of God has grown dim in us.

The only hope I have, and this is the only hope I ever have, is that in His grace, God will be a father to the fatherless. I know that He is able to rebuild that which is fallen and to repair that which is broken. That is my prayer this morning for those who have no idea the great joy that is ours when we say "Our Father."

When Play is Work

By the grace of God, I have a healthy, wonderful son who will turn three in December. By the further grace of God, I have another on the way who will be born in April. I am so very grateful for them and for my wife. I am blessed beyond measure.

Having said that, I will confess that keeping up with a two year old is tough work. For now, the boy genuinely covets my attention...all the time. The day is coming when he will avoid me like I'm some unclean thing, so I should treasure all of these moments while I can. However, like every male born after the fall, I have other responsibilities that also demand my attention, and not all of that labor is easy. It can be tiresome, mind and heart-wearying work, and that does not leave much energy for my beloved son.

At least once a week, my son and I have a three hour play-fest. Usually, this is on Monday night while the wife is away at women's Bible study. I am not always up for a play-fest. My son only knows a few games. We can wrestle, work puzzles, or we can throw the ball. His favorite, and it seems that all games turn into this quickly, is wrestling. My son has the energy to pound me for three solid hours without a break. I sincerely worry for other nursery children if our discipline fails. Of course with me he never gets beat up; a nursery kid with a good jab may curb his enthusiasm.

All of this reminiscing has been to make a very important point: it is very easy to neglect the tiresome duty of play, especially when one is already worn out. I can very easily pop in a "Little Einsteins" video and be set for the evening, but that's not a way to show affection. Little boys need hugs and zuberts and tickle tortures and bear hugs and papa's to pound on. Is your child a glorious gift from God or isn't he? Then go to the work of play, I doubt that you will come to regret it.

Love Your Neighbor

I do a fair bit of counseling as a pastor, though not as much as I would like. By that, I mean there are those who could use more counseling but refuse it. One thing that I have noticed over and over again is that the old addage, "Familiarity breeds contempt" is grievously correct. May God use this thought to banish this danger from our hearts.

In my office, I have heard people say things about their spouses and their children that it would shame them to say before a stranger. I have seen sons do things to parents that they would not dream of doing to someone unfamiliar. I think that this is diabolical, and I believe that this perversity affects us all, and as I outline what I've seen and heard; I hope that you will committ to stop doing this yourself.

I live everyday with my wife, thank God. The intimacy of our relationship means that she has shared things with me, and I with her, that no one else is ever privileged to know. This sweetness of sharing can be one of the most joyful things in life...or it can be a weapon used to absolutely destroy someone in a fit of anger. Have you ever said something so mean to your spouse that would shame you if a stranger heard it? Why do you treat your loved one so viciously? Why do we act as if we aren't accountable because we are so familiar?

Why is it that a child on drugs will steal from their parents? In my opinion, this is manifestly worse than stealing from a stranger. The reason that they steal from parents is because they are abusing the love that the parents have showered upon them from birth. They are too cowardly to steal from others, and so they take the easy money from mom's purse, knowing that her love will compel her not to press charges. Hearts are broken, and wicked crimes are perpetrated taking advantage of love for the doing of evil. How hideous this is and awful to behold! How many of you have seen children steal with abandon from parents, only to be bailed out again and again and again because of love and for hope that this time will truly be the last time? I grieve with those parents, I truly do.

But I find this same sin at work in my own heart in my own home towards my own wife and my own son. How carelessly I often treat those who are closest to me precisely because they are close! We know that we can get away with harsh words and sulkly silence and selfish neglect because they are family, when instead they ought to be treated with tenderness and affection and honor.

Think on it. If an aquaintance dropped by to say hello, good manners dictate that you should drop what you doing to greet and welcome them. How many fathers come home to plop down in front of a TV without a grunt of acknowledgement to wife or children? How many husbands come home to children who do not hug and wives who will not kiss in greeting? Our depravity is clearly seen, not just in how we treat strangers, but in what passes for love of those we should cherish.

So my encouragment for today is to wake up and love those precious people that God has placed in your lives to be the objects of your affection. Honor your spouse, respect your children, pay attention to them when they come home and hug them before they leave. These people are the grandest of all earthly gifts and treasures above all price; treat them as such. It is the least that we can do.