I often marvel at the greatness of the Lord God. I wonder at His power and glory and holiness. I see the universe and its vastness and I realize that this great place in which we live is a mere reflection of His might. It is easy to admire that sort of majesty.
In some ways, it is like admiring Einstein's intellect because for its genius, or watching an athlete at the top of his game. We are amazed at what they accomplish. They become our heroes. We wear their jerseys, and we cheer for them and watch them perform. Or we study them and their writings and are enriched by their ability to communicate such wonderful things.
I believe then, it is easy to marvel at God at arm's length. It is an altogether different story when His majesty comes close. It is absolutely life-changing when the Maker of All Things is near enough, and concerned enough, to hear and sympathize with the longings of our heart. He made the stars, and yet He is concerned with my needs, even with my unnecessary desires.
Almost three years ago, God blessed us with a healthy baby boy. We were, and are, ecstatic about that. Soon after, however, my wife developed a complication and had to have surgery. We were told that it was highly unlikely that we would have anymore children, even if we opted for "help," which we quickly decided against.
We prayed, and we decided that if this were God's will, then we would be content with it, and since we had a desire for more children, we would look into adoption. We rejoiced to think that we might be able to become the parents of a child in this way, and we prayed that the Lord might help with the financial end of that process.
But the desire of our heart was for another child of our own. I confess that I asked God for this often, even with tears. I wondered if such a prayer was selfish, and I still wonder. I knew that my wife wanted to carry another child. We were content with no more, and we were thankful for our son, but we wanted another baby. So despite the fact that it might be selfish, I asked for a baby. And now, almost two years from the time that we were told of the improbability, the Lord has opened the womb of my wife. She is two months pregnant and wonderfully "morning sick."
I cannot here describe how this makes me feel. I am filled with rejoicing, but it is not simply because we are, God willing, having a baby. I rejoice because I know that God heard me and He answered. My hero came to visit, and He saw my tears and He listened to my request. He was not too big or busy to hear me in this matter, and even if I was being selfish, He granted my desire. He treated me like a son, like someone important, like someone worthy of His attention.
I am a theologian and pastor and student of the Bible. I know that God omnipotent and omniscient. I know that He parted the waters for Israel; I know that He governs the nations. I know that God is working in the world for His glory, and that He will get it on a global scale. His plans are world-wide so that the nations may marvel. I get the "big picture," and I love it. God's plans are so big and so marvelous that I am sometimes ashamed to ask for what I want. My personal requests feel like bothering dad when he's busy at the office.
So I write this post, in part, to thank my God for once again demonstrating that He cares for and loves "the least of these," to try and convey to you my humility at His graciousness, and to solicit yet more prayers on my behalf that our baby will grow and be healthy. In all this, I have become even more a debtor to God's grace, and I am the happiest, most grateful debtor on earth.
Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
For He satisfies the longing soul,
And fills the hungry soul with goodness. (Psalm 107:8-9)
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