Monday, March 28, 2011

Evolutionary Conundrum

I am no evolutionist because I believe it to be silly. I know that my believing this leads some to think that I am very silly because I think this way. To those who think so, let them be consoled in the knowledge that I evolved this silly, stubborn mindset and that I am merely trapped inside my own DNA. This way, I will merely be a slight evolutionary throw-back instead of something to be despised.

Since I am on the subject of my own silliness, I have a thought that I would like to interject for study. It is a real dilemma for me in my backwardness, and no doubt my unsophisticated thoughts here will be a delight for the more evolutionarily enlightened. But I have noticed that mankind seems to be going backward on the evolutionary climb and not forward. If I believed in evolution, this would greatly worry me

I have noticed that we seem to regard ourselves, and other species, as making "progress" in evolution. First of all, I am not certain as to how this is measured. Perhaps this is my mistake. But if the point of evolution is to make certain that the species remains viable, prolific, and avoid extinction, then I believe we have taken a bad turn in our march upwards on the evolutionary chart.

It seems to me that insects are doing better than we are. After watching the Discovery Channel, I realized that bugs and creeping things far outnumber our species. The ants alone are a marvel of the random process of evolution. They defeat human beings in every conceivable category. They are more numerous, they breed faster, and they cooperate within the hive with one another far better than humans. Yes, it is true that we can step on any ant as we please, but they are in no real danger for all our stomping. We could not get rid of them all even if we tried.

If we go back even further "down" the evolutionary chain, I find that bacteria are even more successful than the bugs. Bacteria are everywhere, virtually countless in number, and are able to invade human colonies and wipe them out. Visit any hospital and you will see that I am telling the truth. This is why they have hand sanitizer virtually everywhere in the place. Bacteria are everywhere, and they cannot be stopped. We can only hope to contain them.

So I conclude that if evolution is true, humans have been cheated by chance. We should have remained bacteria. We would be more numerous, more viable, and much harder to ultimately get rid of. I can't help but wonder why we didn't remain contented with the evolutionary marvels that we were. Why did we, by chance, become so big and easy to wipe out?

In the end, I must conclude that evolution is a cruel mistress. It must be that Evolution chanced us to become what we are out of a cruel sense of humor. You see, Evolution evolved us with a brain so that we could reason in order that we might realize, "Oh drat, we should have remained bacteria."

Maybe, if we are lucky, we can go back to being ooze.

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