#10 I once compared my wife's spaghetti unfavorably with my mothers.
#9 Just after my wife received a scheduled dose of potocin to begin labor, our doctor and anesthesiologist were called away on an emergency. I tried to break the tension with a joke. I said, "Well, now you'll at least get to feel one good contraction before the epidural." One contraction later and the joke was not funny at all.
#8 Early in my marriage, I gave an honest answer about a less-than-stellar food experiment my wife slaved over. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
#7 I tried to convince my wife that it would be a good idea for me to go to the "Together for the Gospel" Conference a week before the baby was due.
#6 I once shaved off my beard on a whim and came to bed, nearly inducing a heart-attack when my wife saw a strange man in the bedroom.
#5 The inability to distinguish between permission and approval is a constant dumb mistake. The tip off: When the wife's arms are crossed, her brows are furrowed, and she fires off, "Fine! Do what you want to!" That doesn't mean you necessarily should.
#4 I once mentioned how much money we could save if we would change the car oil ourselves.
#3 I interpreted the request for "help" with the post-pregnancy diet to mean that I should point out that ice cream and potato chips are fattening.
#2 I once thought it would be a good idea if I was in charge of balancing the checkbook. Apparently, "keeping up with it in my head" doesn't cut it with the wife.
#1 I got stuck on 8 things and asked my wife for help. Let's just say I found out that this list could be much longer.
Hopefully my idiocy will be to your benefit, and we can rest assured that I have grown in sanctification from each blunder. Amen.
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